Passing on your faith to your kids
Where is that instruction manual on raising kids? Did you get one when you had kids? I sure as heck didn’t. I was 15 when my son was born and I was petrified because I had not had any responsibility of taking care of anyone…least of all my precious little angel. Didn’t the hospital or doctor tell you? Probably not. When I left the hospital that first day with my very premature son…I knew nothing. Think he taught me way more than I taught him way back then. The doctor came in and said about a hundred things (nothing written down) and since my son was premature when he cried he couldn’t breath good and it was very scary. Most don’t go home to this…but at 15 and his health issues at the time was one scary thing for a 15 year old.
Raising a child is such an important, seriously sobering task, it should at least come with a manual, don't you think? Today they have lots of books you can read before having a child, and even take classes, but way back then you just kind of had to learn on your own.
What do you suppose this instruction manual would look like (especially way back when I had my kids)? Can't you just see it? It would contain some great categories like, "How to Stop the Whining," and "How to Get Your Kids to Listen When You Talk."
Well I have found out over the years that it doesn’t matter where in the world you live…Christian parents face just as many obstacles as non-Christians in raising kids. When you add all the distractions and the pressures in today's world, Christian parenting becomes even more than a challenge. To me back then it was a mission! I had 4 kids by the time I was 21. Kids forget/and don’t know that they give up their right to themselves. Now….they have children and children always come first. Oh, how I wish I would have had lessons into how to deal with all the little things that come up when raising small children. Kids, fall, get hurt, cry, have tummy aches, get sick….and it breaks your heart when your kids hurt in any way. You just want to fix all the stuff that hurts them…but most times you can’t….what you can do is just love them.
We all fail as parents I don’t care who you are or how much money you have or don’t have. We make mistakes. But learn from those and go on a better person.
A huge part of that challenge is passing on your faith to kids whose priorities are more focused on video games, sporting events, and the latest trends in clothes. And let's not forget to mention peer pressure and media pressure that offers temptations to kids to do drugs, drink alcohol and get involved sexually. Today's kids face an overall absence of godly examples and moral living in a society that is moving toward "freedom from religion" instead of "freedom of religion."
Don’t think for a moment though that we who are older didn’t have the same things to go through and be tempted by…but we didn’t have the internet, the drugs, and all the games. There were still bullies, problems, and different obstacles that came our way and caused us to focus on things we should not have focused on. Things were just different. Sometimes we think about the “good old days”….well mine were not “good ole days”. I was raped, molested, beaten and my list goes on. So when I say things are different than way back when…it is just usually different but still major circumstances to deal with. I can’t even say I had this “good childhood”, because I did not. So when I had kids I wanted their lives to be better. I failed many times but you just get back up and keep going and do your best.
Oh the joy it is when you accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior. The good news is that there are things you can do to raise godly kids and even share your faith with them along the way.
First you must be one that lives your faith.
I didn’t have faith in God for years. Oh how I wish I could go back and would have listened to my neighbor lady who daily prayed for me as a child. I wish I would have accepted Jesus as Lord years before I had because when we have Jesus we do live differently, and we are different. First, as a parent you must live out your faith in your own life. It is impossible to give away something you don't have. Kids can spot a phony from a mile away. They're looking for the real deal from their parents. If you are a parent who tells your kids to not to something and you do it…they totally get mixed messages in their little lives to deal with. Don’t send them mixed messages. Much easier to do things right and live what you tell them to do as well.
Don’t get kids to lie for you!!!!! Read that again.
Living your faith can start with simple things, like showing love, kindness, and generosity. If your kids see you finding ways to "be a blessing," it will become a natural and normal way of life for them too.
Sharing God With Your Kids
Second, start sharing your faith early in the lives of your kids. (of course if you don’t become a Christian like I did until later you can’t…but you can start right now and share God’s love with them). Being a part of an active Christian church shows your kids that you think spending time with God is important. Let your children see you study the word and share it, and live what you tell them! Pray all the time…they will see and hear you. Take them to church. Make it a point to let them hear you talk about the great things of God. Let them hear how much you've been helped by having Jesus as your Lord and Savior.
Sharing your faith also means reading the Bible…and...with your children in a way that causes it to come alive for them. Find age appropriate Bible resources and lessons to incorporate into your family-fun times, as well as your child's education. Make family devotions and Bible reading a priority in your weekly schedule.
Also, incorporate Christian activities, reading good-clean books, games and movies into your child's life. Instead of feeling deprived of fun, let them discover and enjoy quality and inspiring forms of amusement that will also encourage them to develop spiritually.
Another great way to share your faith with your children is to allow them the opportunity to make and develop Christian friendships. Their faith will be strengthened if they can share the same values with their friends. Make sure your church offers a children's program and youth group that your kids will want to be involved in. A lot of churches have youth groups but they can be very boring for them with no life in them. I went to a huge church once and they had a big youth program…but it was an upscale neighborhood with a lot of rich kids which our family was not…let’s just say it was not a good experience for my child. This is not to say that all big churches act the way this one did…but see if your children are excited about going, learning about God, values, and right from wrong. Tickling someone’s ears and telling them just want they want to hear to get money for ones church is not God’s way. Teaching them right from wrong, about Jesus’ love for them, and teaching them to love others is way better than just being in a big church and fading into the background.
What's in it For Them?
Lastly, show your kids what's in it for them. This is probably one of the most difficult things for many Christian parents. Often people are brought up to believe that faith is some kind of obligation you fulfill by attending church on Sunday. And let's face it, kids today aren't interested in obligations unless there is some kind of pay out at the end.
Here are some great pay outs:
• When you give your life to Christ, you secure your place in heaven. What kid do you know that doesn't want something they don't have to earn, but rather is given to them as a gift?
• When God enters your life, you receive unconditional love. What a concept for a young person! Someone who will love and accept them as they are with no strings attached.
• Being a Christian means experiencing freedom. As you develop your relationship with Christ, you can be free from worry and anxiety, addictions, and so many other problems that seem to plague young people. When you do things God's way, you receive the benefits of that relationship.
• Having God's favor on your life is like unwrapping a gift every single day. God's favor is an amazing blessing that makes people want to be good to you for no apparent reason. What young person wouldn't want God's blessings in their life?
Of course, it wouldn't be fair to tell your kids about the pay outs and not tell them about the responsibilities that come with Christian living. Here are some of those:
• Putting God first. This means making the commitment to seek God. This isn't an easy concept for kids. There's a lot of competition for first place in the life of a young person. But parents can help kids understand that God wants them to be happy and successful even more than they do. What a great thing for a young person to hear!
• Finding ways to be a blessing. Many kids are very self centered. The concept of "being a blessing" means taking the focus off them and onto someone else. This is best learned if they can see you living it. Include them in the process when you can. You'll be amazed at how good your kids will feel about themselves.
• Acting right on purpose. This means treating people with kindness, respect, and patience even those that are hard to love. Even parents, brothers and sisters. Right behavior is Christianity in action.
Sharing your faith doesn't have to be complicated. Start by living it in your own life so your kids can see it in action. Demonstrate your commitment and the value you place in an ongoing relationship with God by finding ways to be a blessing. Kids learn best by example and modeling your faith is the best example they will ever see.
Where is that instruction manual on raising kids? Did you get one when you had kids? I sure as heck didn’t. I was 15 when my son was born and I was petrified because I had not had any responsibility of taking care of anyone…least of all my precious little angel. Didn’t the hospital or doctor tell you? Probably not. When I left the hospital that first day with my very premature son…I knew nothing. Think he taught me way more than I taught him way back then. The doctor came in and said about a hundred things (nothing written down) and since my son was premature when he cried he couldn’t breath good and it was very scary. Most don’t go home to this…but at 15 and his health issues at the time was one scary thing for a 15 year old.
Raising a child is such an important, seriously sobering task, it should at least come with a manual, don't you think? Today they have lots of books you can read before having a child, and even take classes, but way back then you just kind of had to learn on your own.
What do you suppose this instruction manual would look like (especially way back when I had my kids)? Can't you just see it? It would contain some great categories like, "How to Stop the Whining," and "How to Get Your Kids to Listen When You Talk."
Well I have found out over the years that it doesn’t matter where in the world you live…Christian parents face just as many obstacles as non-Christians in raising kids. When you add all the distractions and the pressures in today's world, Christian parenting becomes even more than a challenge. To me back then it was a mission! I had 4 kids by the time I was 21. Kids forget/and don’t know that they give up their right to themselves. Now….they have children and children always come first. Oh, how I wish I would have had lessons into how to deal with all the little things that come up when raising small children. Kids, fall, get hurt, cry, have tummy aches, get sick….and it breaks your heart when your kids hurt in any way. You just want to fix all the stuff that hurts them…but most times you can’t….what you can do is just love them.
We all fail as parents I don’t care who you are or how much money you have or don’t have. We make mistakes. But learn from those and go on a better person.
A huge part of that challenge is passing on your faith to kids whose priorities are more focused on video games, sporting events, and the latest trends in clothes. And let's not forget to mention peer pressure and media pressure that offers temptations to kids to do drugs, drink alcohol and get involved sexually. Today's kids face an overall absence of godly examples and moral living in a society that is moving toward "freedom from religion" instead of "freedom of religion."
Don’t think for a moment though that we who are older didn’t have the same things to go through and be tempted by…but we didn’t have the internet, the drugs, and all the games. There were still bullies, problems, and different obstacles that came our way and caused us to focus on things we should not have focused on. Things were just different. Sometimes we think about the “good old days”….well mine were not “good ole days”. I was raped, molested, beaten and my list goes on. So when I say things are different than way back when…it is just usually different but still major circumstances to deal with. I can’t even say I had this “good childhood”, because I did not. So when I had kids I wanted their lives to be better. I failed many times but you just get back up and keep going and do your best.
Oh the joy it is when you accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior. The good news is that there are things you can do to raise godly kids and even share your faith with them along the way.
First you must be one that lives your faith.
I didn’t have faith in God for years. Oh how I wish I could go back and would have listened to my neighbor lady who daily prayed for me as a child. I wish I would have accepted Jesus as Lord years before I had because when we have Jesus we do live differently, and we are different. First, as a parent you must live out your faith in your own life. It is impossible to give away something you don't have. Kids can spot a phony from a mile away. They're looking for the real deal from their parents. If you are a parent who tells your kids to not to something and you do it…they totally get mixed messages in their little lives to deal with. Don’t send them mixed messages. Much easier to do things right and live what you tell them to do as well.
Don’t get kids to lie for you!!!!! Read that again.
Living your faith can start with simple things, like showing love, kindness, and generosity. If your kids see you finding ways to "be a blessing," it will become a natural and normal way of life for them too.
Sharing God With Your Kids
Second, start sharing your faith early in the lives of your kids. (of course if you don’t become a Christian like I did until later you can’t…but you can start right now and share God’s love with them). Being a part of an active Christian church shows your kids that you think spending time with God is important. Let your children see you study the word and share it, and live what you tell them! Pray all the time…they will see and hear you. Take them to church. Make it a point to let them hear you talk about the great things of God. Let them hear how much you've been helped by having Jesus as your Lord and Savior.
Sharing your faith also means reading the Bible…and...with your children in a way that causes it to come alive for them. Find age appropriate Bible resources and lessons to incorporate into your family-fun times, as well as your child's education. Make family devotions and Bible reading a priority in your weekly schedule.
Also, incorporate Christian activities, reading good-clean books, games and movies into your child's life. Instead of feeling deprived of fun, let them discover and enjoy quality and inspiring forms of amusement that will also encourage them to develop spiritually.
Another great way to share your faith with your children is to allow them the opportunity to make and develop Christian friendships. Their faith will be strengthened if they can share the same values with their friends. Make sure your church offers a children's program and youth group that your kids will want to be involved in. A lot of churches have youth groups but they can be very boring for them with no life in them. I went to a huge church once and they had a big youth program…but it was an upscale neighborhood with a lot of rich kids which our family was not…let’s just say it was not a good experience for my child. This is not to say that all big churches act the way this one did…but see if your children are excited about going, learning about God, values, and right from wrong. Tickling someone’s ears and telling them just want they want to hear to get money for ones church is not God’s way. Teaching them right from wrong, about Jesus’ love for them, and teaching them to love others is way better than just being in a big church and fading into the background.
What's in it For Them?
Lastly, show your kids what's in it for them. This is probably one of the most difficult things for many Christian parents. Often people are brought up to believe that faith is some kind of obligation you fulfill by attending church on Sunday. And let's face it, kids today aren't interested in obligations unless there is some kind of pay out at the end.
Here are some great pay outs:
• When you give your life to Christ, you secure your place in heaven. What kid do you know that doesn't want something they don't have to earn, but rather is given to them as a gift?
• When God enters your life, you receive unconditional love. What a concept for a young person! Someone who will love and accept them as they are with no strings attached.
• Being a Christian means experiencing freedom. As you develop your relationship with Christ, you can be free from worry and anxiety, addictions, and so many other problems that seem to plague young people. When you do things God's way, you receive the benefits of that relationship.
• Having God's favor on your life is like unwrapping a gift every single day. God's favor is an amazing blessing that makes people want to be good to you for no apparent reason. What young person wouldn't want God's blessings in their life?
Of course, it wouldn't be fair to tell your kids about the pay outs and not tell them about the responsibilities that come with Christian living. Here are some of those:
• Putting God first. This means making the commitment to seek God. This isn't an easy concept for kids. There's a lot of competition for first place in the life of a young person. But parents can help kids understand that God wants them to be happy and successful even more than they do. What a great thing for a young person to hear!
• Finding ways to be a blessing. Many kids are very self centered. The concept of "being a blessing" means taking the focus off them and onto someone else. This is best learned if they can see you living it. Include them in the process when you can. You'll be amazed at how good your kids will feel about themselves.
• Acting right on purpose. This means treating people with kindness, respect, and patience even those that are hard to love. Even parents, brothers and sisters. Right behavior is Christianity in action.
Sharing your faith doesn't have to be complicated. Start by living it in your own life so your kids can see it in action. Demonstrate your commitment and the value you place in an ongoing relationship with God by finding ways to be a blessing. Kids learn best by example and modeling your faith is the best example they will ever see.